Terrible day turned into a terrible week.

In the ER there was alot of waiting, alot of pain and alot of x-rays.  Elisabeth was in terrible pain and could not recieve medication until she was thoroughly examined.  Then they could not get a good x-ray because of where the break in her left arm was.  We knew it was around the elbow.  So they kept coming in and trying.  Everytime they had to move her around to get different angles and everytime she moved she was in intense pain.  The pain that makes grown men scream in agony.  Not to mention an 11 year old little girl.  They decided they needed to keep her overnight for fear of blood clots and swelling.  They found the breaks but still were not pleased with the x-rays.  She broke her left arm in two places in the bone above the elbow and below her shoulder.  They needed to watch it to see if the bone was going to shift.  If it did then she would need surgery to put pins in place.  And she also broke her right wrist.  It was not a complete break which was better but will not have full function of that hand.  My heart broke for the poor thing.   The amount of pain she was in and not to mention she is 11 years old a die hard horse lover, she loves to play piano and takes a dance class every week.  All things that she will not do for quite sometime.  Thankfully all of her injuries were isolated to her arms.  They saw no sign of head injury which is wonderful.

At about 10 pm she finally got settled for the first time all day and she dozed off.  So I thought it was a good time to go home and let her get some rest.  I came out early the next morning.  They did not have a good night nor did she get much rest.  The pain was just too much for her to bear.  Tuesday they had to do more x-rays and later that afternoon they said she could go home.  They basically were wanting to wait and see what happens with the break then come back in one week to see if the bones have stayed in place.  So I helped them get home and get settled in.  The next day I came to sit with her and help in anyway I could.  I helped with chores, milked the goat things like that.  I just wanted to help in any way I could. 

I wanted Thanksgiving to still be a special day and I knew because of the amount of attention her injury required her mom couldn't realistically cook all day.  So I just doubled our Thanksgiving and brought over their meal.  She is slowly but surely getting a little bit better.  She is still on Vicodin 24 hours a day but she is becoming a bit more comfortable.  It is the 2 steps forward one step back kind of progress but it is progress.

The day it happened and the couple days to follow I was so overwhelmed by the situation and I was just completely filled with guilt.  Guilt that I should have been able to prevent it.  I felt so helpless and mad at myself for the whole thing.  I felt completely resposible for her and in turn felt responsible for her injuries.  I was afraid her family would be angry with me.  Thank God her family did not blame me one bit.  And after stepping back and getting a better, less emotinal look at the situation I realize that it was not my fault.  I had such support with friends and my husband and I am so grateful for them and their words.  Otherwise I probably would still be blaming myself.

Why I think King bucked.  First off  I have known King for a couple years and have ridden him a handful of times.  He is a great horse.  He has never done anything like this before.  He is the kind of horse that you could get on every few months and he would be a great ride.  I have trail ridden on him and never had an issue.  Elisabeth has ridden him ALOT.  She has been riding for about 2 years.  There was nothing to indicate that there would have been a problem.  Like I said I could tell the horses started getting anxious and that is why we turned around.  They didn't seem to want to continue ahead and I saw no reason to force the issue.  We were just out to have fun.  My non expert opinion about the situation, like I said I am no expert though I have been around horses my entire life and ridden for 15 years, is that he had one goal in mind, to get her off and go to the barn.  There was no spook involved.  It was a dirty move to get his rider off so he could high tail it out of there.  That is so upsetting and I did not tell the family that story for a few days because I didn't want to compound their pain by getting them angry at their horse.  Once I got a minute to talk to her mother alone when things had settled a bit I explained to her the situation.  Of course it is not an easy thing when you love your animal, he has never done something like this before and then he does something so drastic and awful.  I told her I would get and experts opinion on the matter before she makes any decisions.  It is tough.
 
But that is that.  That is how my good day turned into a terrible week.

On a side note I hope Elisabeth is not afraid to get back up on a horse after all of this and I will do all I can to ensure that she gets past that fear.  She doesn't just love horses, she lives for horses and I think she can get passed this with time.  I am surprised but my daughter did not devolop any fear because of the situation and her and I went for a ride on Saturday.  She just got on one of our mini's bareback and even fell off once but just got right back up.  I am so proud of her for keeping her head even when her mommy kind of lost hers.

I don't know that I can answer the question WHY? do we get back up there.  All I know is that there is a powerful drive that pushes you to.  It feels like it is not even a choice it is just a reflex.  So I quess the answer to Why?  Is because you just have to, it is the right thing to do.  Horses are powerful and unpredictable but they are also kind and loving.  Sometimes we just need to take a step back and remind ourselves that they are potentialy dangerous and a healthy fear is a must.  The reality is we could get hurt at any moment of our lives doing anything.  There are no guarantees.  So unless we plan to live in a bubble we will most likely get hurt along the way but we can't let that stop us from enjoying today.