Frustration, jealousy, excitement, contentment, stress, anticipation, tired, at peace.

All feelings that I have had since my last real post. There is so much going on in my life right now. All good and exciting things. Things that have taken everyone minute of my excess time and also every once of mental energy I have. They are also all things that have nothing to do with riding a horse. The biggest thing on my plate at the moment is that I started a business! But the business has nothing to do with horses so I will not post about it here. I do have another blog about my life living on a farm trying to keep my families life simple, things like  gardening, canning, goat milking, cheese making cooking, raising animals for food, that kind of stuff. I hope to post soon on that blog about my new business because it has alot to do with those things. So that is where the excitement and stress come into play.

Now on to the other feelings.

Frustration. My frustration came when I get up on a Saturday morning at 6 am after spending half the night up with my sick husband then drive two hours in unpleasant weather to have a lesson with a trainer I have not yet met. It may not mean so much to someone who has access to a trainer on a regular basis but I put alot of stock in the few lessons I get to squeeze in. Very long story short, I show up to my lesson on time to find the trainer had not shown up. Though she had informed just the night before that I need to be there right at 9am and my horse would be tacked and ready to go. Well two hours later she finally shows up! Hence my frustration.

Happiness, despite the start to the morning, my lesson went well. It was the first time I had taken a lesson on another horse in many many years. I was actually nervous how it would go. I just kept thinking, what if I am just a complete screw up and I have probably been training Steady completely wrong this whole time and now I am gonna act like a complete tard on a horse that knew what she was doing.  I must say I was very pleasantly surprised.  It was like I actually kinda knew what I was doing.  I could feel when we had contact and when she came above the bit and was able to correct with soft and consist riding.  The lesson was focused on learning how to get long and low out of a horse.  I realized that I already know how to ask for it but the reason I have not had success with Steady is because he doesn't know how to do it.  I had no problem getting a horse who liked stretching down to do it.  But the lesson was good because it reaffirmed that we are going in the right direction.  As far as the trainer, I think I will give her one more chance.  We are all allowed to have a bad day and sleep in two hours past the time you are supposed to be giving a lesson(yes that was her reason).  So I will probably at some point trailer Steady down to her for a lesson.  But the nice part is she also gives lessons just an hour from me so I won't have to go to Kentucky next time.  I also got to meet Jeni from Super Size My Cob and she even let me get on Rosie and cool her out!!  Awesome horse!!  It felt like I was sitting on two Steady's side by side, that girl is wide :).

Jealousy.  It is a pretty ugly feeling.  But being honest it is kinda how I feel every time I read one of my favorite blogs.  They mention great rides and break throughs in training stuff like that.  All while I have not been on my horses back in over a month.  No excuses really just that I don't really feel like it.  Our winter has been a strange phenomenon of nice spring like weather.  But I still don't ride.  For a while I kept thinking what's the point it is just going to get bad next week and I won't be able to ride.  But now looking back it has been week after week of that excuse and winter has yet to show it's face.  On one hand I start too feel all guilty but on the other hand I feel....

Contentment.  Strangely enough I feel ok about it all.  I know that in a little over a month I will be able to start full fledge training again.  I know there are those out there that will look down upon me for taking a break over the winter because, they, for some reason, think they are better horsemen for riding year round.  But I know deep down that my horse is happy, healthy and enjoying life while he takes a break from work.  His weight is the best I have ever seen it, he actually has round butt!  So I am fine with it all  I do miss it but I am not going to let guilt play a part in my life.

Anticipation.  I am eagerly looking forward to the coming year for two reasons.  One my new business getting off the ground and of course hitting the ground running with training and showing!!!  Can't wait!  All my goals are the same we will start up consistent training in April and as soon as we are ready I plan to debut at a schooling show at Beginner Novice.  I am hoping by May.  June-September focus on training.  Then fall do a recognized show at BN and possibly end the season at a Novice schooling show.  I am SOOOO excited!!!  And I think Steady is ready to kick some ass!!

Tired.  For all the reasons listed above.

At Peace.  I feel I am exactly where I should be in life.  I am at peace and that is the best feeling on earth!