And then there were two...

I am going to start with the good part of the post.  I have been very absent here lately.  I have just been very uninspired in writing and riding.  Life has been busy and it was an easy excuse to help me ignore my lack of enthusiasm for anything training related.  It stemmed from feeling like I missed out on the fall season because of Steady's injury.  Then this DC Pony Club position that was seriously dumped on me has had my stress for the equine section of my life and emotions full.  I mean with 3 kids, a farm and the day to day of all of it only leaves a sliver left over for equine stuff as it is and now add in another responsibility related to horses well that sliver left for myself and training seems to be shrinking.  But I do intend to balance that out better because I am simply NOT willing to give up my passion to run an outside organization.

It worked out last minute that I got to get out and take a lesson from LAZ.  Ahhhhhh what a huge sigh of satisfaction.  I needed it desperately and am SO glad it worked out.  We worked on simple grids and it was exactly what we(we as in mostly I) needed.  It was very productive and I love that LAZ understands my life a bit and gave me the dimensions of her grids and said 'now go home and do this".  She knows us well enough to know our strengths and weaknesses and we can get right to the point.  I left the lesson 100% satisfied and smiling ear to ear because of the progress.  One of the biggest ah ha moments was when she told me to squeeze with my inner thigh/knee and shove my heals down to get him to slow down!!!  He had a nice canter when she told me that and he instantly broke to a trot when I did it....lol...it was VERY effective.  I have had many instructors tell me different ways of slowing him with my body, slow my post, tighten my stomach muscles but this was by far the quickest and most effective response I have gotten from him.  It is an AWESOME thing to have in your arsenal when you have a horse like Steady that speed is his go to solution for everything.  She also pointed out two things that I completely agree that Steady with all of his faults has two extremely important good qualities.  He LOVES to go forward and his work ethic is incredible and she is so right and love those qualities about him.  He is such a great horse for me.

Now onto the really really really bad part of my weekend.  I was gone all day Saturday and didn't return until 11pm that night.  Sunday morning was hectic and Steady was still at CAF (being trailered home by a PC member).  Lily and Blaze were turned out with plenty of water and grass so I was lazy (and very busy) and didn't go out to the barn in the a.m.  That afternoon we had a family over for lunch then Pony Club came over to make horse treats for a fundraiser.  One of the PC girls(S) went out to throw Blaze some hay.  I was outside getting Lily to let our lunch guests pet him.  S come to tell me she doesn't see Blaze so she went out to the pasture to look for him.  He is ALWAYS standing at the fence if people are outside, so I knew something was up but my first guess is he got out and is grazing next door.  Then S yells across the pasture, "MISS AMY!!! HE'S DEAD!!!".  At first I didn't believe what she said so I made her say it again.  Then I couldn't even comprehend what she was saying.  I just thought I have this little boy coming out any second to pet Lily I am going to see them off and figure out what she is talking about.  Once our guests left I asked her multiple times to tell me what she said and it came back the same, "HE'S DEAD!!".  I got my husband and asked him to come out with me and no matter how much I didn't want it to be true it was.  He was dead!  Lying in the pasture, dead.  I won't go into any more detail about what went on after that because I honestly cannot rethink any of the last few days it is just too sad but our hearts are completely broken and it will take a very long time for this pain to subside for myself and my girls.  I rarely talked about Blaze on here but that little pony owned my heart.  I had him for 6 years and he is more of a family member than a horse.  Don't get me wrong I love Steady, Moonlight, Snappy and Lily but out of all of them Blaze is the ONLY one that would have NEVER no matter what EVER left my farm, EVER!  I cannot explain it but he meant more to me than any other pet I have ever owned.  I have never been hit this hard by grief over an animal.  Then add onto that the fact that my girls have been hit very hard by it also makes it only that much worse.  They are not overly emotional kids and they are used to loosing pets whether it has been from rehoming or death and they are normally quite unaffected by it.  So to see how hard it is on their little hearts is so sad.  I am grateful for all the years they got to have him but am so sad by all the years that they will have to live without him.  I will not go any farther into it for the sake of my heart and emotions right now.  But I will leave you with a picture and a video in remembrance of THE best little pony I have ever known.

My tribute to Blue Eye Blaze

Rest in peace my sweet Blaze. For the hundreds and hundreds of days like this that you gave to my family, for the thousands and thousands of little girl giggles you provided.  For being the first horse that awakened that passion for horses in all of my little girls' hearts. For gently allowing bouncy butts, kicking legs and pulling hands to slowly learn with kindness and care.  And for the countless first pony rides you gave in your life and the inevitable smiles the appeared upon each little face.  They were smiles that you placed there and we will forever be grateful that we were allowed the privilege to have you in our lives and for you we will never be the same.  You only ever added joy and happiness to our world and we were not ready to lose you.  We didn't get to say goodbye, what we wouldn't give to hug your fuzzy little neck again. For such a tiny pony you have left a huge hole in our hearts.