I just need a moment to have a mini meltdown. It is about that time of year anyways where the weather is depressing even on the nice days. Simply because I know I can't get out there for a fun ride because it will be a huge waste of my time and possibly dangerous. It was beautiful weather today and that should make me happy but it doesn't. I want to run change into breeches and grab my tack and go for a ride but I can't. It is all nice to say that I am taking a break for the bad winter months but I am going to say this in my most immature, whiney voice. "BUT I DON"T WANNA!" I want to ride I want to be making progress I want to kick the 2013 show season right in the ass from the word go. I want to go to Pine Top and Aiken, SC like I hear of all of the other Indiana folks. I want an arena to ride in so that I can feel safer atop my 17 hh winter maniac. I want, I want, I want...
I am frustrated because I just feel like others are moving forward while I am moving backward. And no matter how hard I try to tell myself that we are just standing still and not moving backward I still can't believe that. I am frustrated because I just don't think that this barn deal will actually work out for me and really a huge reason that I want to do it is so that I have a place to train. I feel like that will be the only way in my forseable future to any sort of year round place to ride. Dec.-March the weather is too shit to ride in because of snow, mud, rain, ice and an over zealous OTTB, then July-September the weather is to shit to ride in because we don't see rain for 3 months and the ground is cement. So that leaves me Apr.-June and Sep.-Nov. to do anything productive. ahhhh I am just frustrated.
I know it is not that bad and it is really spoiled brat problems and that this too shall pass but I am not a good idling type person. I don't do sitting by watching others move past me very well at all. I also know my time will come. I have every intention of spending a chunk of my winters in SC but now is not my time. My time will come when my children are grown and I can realistically take off for a month at a time. I also know that my friends that are going out there now were not doing it at my age either. I understand the reality of it and that is why I just had to come and whine about it and get it out of my system.
Not your average OTTB given another chance at a new life and a mostly average busy Mom who never gave up on her dream to ride again. An unlikely pair at an unlikely time, learning to event and loving life!
It is your blog and you can vent anytime you want to!
ReplyDeleteGlad I didn't get my first horse till I was 40 :)
We all need to have the time to have a vent session.
ReplyDeleteThat's really frustrating :/ the footing down here goes from slop to cement pretty quickly, and then back again. :/ Maybe you could do ground work at liberty just to be doing something with Steady that gets his brain in gear without putting you in too much danger?
ReplyDeleteGirl you can totally vent to us! We understand :)
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great weekend!
Nothing wrong with a vent! I've thrown my fair share of temper tantrums this year!
ReplyDeleteVent away! It helps to get it out there.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure my hubby is sick and tired of hearing me vent, vent, vent about the same thing, not being able to ride because of the danged footing/weather.
Venting on your own blog is totally ok :)
ReplyDeleteIt's totally fine to vent I am sure we all do!
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about hauling him to an indoor a few times a week in the end of February/March? You could also throw some sand down to ride during the summer. It shouldn't be THAT expensive to have sand spread, although you'd probably lose some of it since you don't have a base but it could give you several months of riding. I'm not going South either and it is awful depressing to hear about all the people schooling in T shirts. Believe it or not I get depressed in my indoor since I don't have any place to ride outside.
ReplyDeleteHello love. Big hugs, hang in there. I dont have an arena either. It SUCKS. But, like Stanthehorse suggests, I haul out several times a week. At first it seems daunting but actually its a nice little routine now. Might be an option,
ReplyDeleteRant away! It's the whole point of having a blog. I don't have quite the same constrictions that you do (yay arena!), but this past month was a total wash. I'm getting really tired of people commenting on how their boots are so much better than mine... Um, hello, I'd have $200 boots if I could afford them. Obviously, I can't.
ReplyDeleteAt the moment, I'm lucky to afford gas to drive to the barn at which I work my ass off so I can afford board. I didn't even ride today because I was so tired from working and it was cold and windy and Cuna was WILD. For him.
Hang in there. You only get so much time with your kids, so you might as well enjoy it. Who knows, maybe one of them will become a zillionaire and finance you after that. ;)
Winter just sucks! That's all there is to it LOL! Hang in there, spring is on it's way.... or so I keep telling myself. :)
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