Friday, February 26, 2016

Having it All

"All" can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  I'm in no way implying that my all is the only or the best all there is.  It is just MY all.  Everything that I could imagine, hope and dream about what my perfect idea of life would be.  Now this idea has changed a hundred times over the years and I'm sure will change a hundred more before I die (if I get to live long enough). Life is ever shifting and changing and if we choose to fight that fact it makes life way harder. I've learned over the years to appreciate the now for what it is and anticipate the future for what it holds. Another tip is to not begrudge the past for its made you who you are  (that one was free).

From the outside this is what having it all looks like. 

On the ground level this is what it mostly is. 

I'm writing this for the few out there that may have similar definitions of their "all". Yet might feel like it is an unrealistic expectation.  I assure you it is not but it may not happen when or how you want it to. It can also be for those of you who just want to watch like I'm a caged animal in the zoo.  While that tiger looks entertaining enough you are smart enough to know it's much more liberating(and less bloody) on the outside of the cage. This will need to be a many part series to cover all the areas of how to make it "all" happen and what it took to get here.

I do consider myself to have it "all". Now that I'm here is it all its cracked up to be?  There are significant sacrifices that will be made along the way. In the end are those sacrifices worth it?

I've always been pretty brutally honest here and in life.  Many times to a fault.  I'm pretty simple minded and the truth, in my mind was always easy.  Lies seemed to hard for my brain.  If you have been around this blog long enough you will remember some pretty ugly times.  I was honest about those times.  And I will delve into them in this series. Because though not my finest hours they are how I got here and who knows.  Without them I may have never made it to this moment of having it all.

So a quick definition of what "All" is to me and the areas that I will cover.

1) A supportive, loving, fun marriage.
2) Kind, respectful, happy children.
3) My own farm.
4) A horse.
5) A loyal, obedient dog.
6) Advancing in my riding: ie lessons,  clinics, sufficient schooling rides to progress.
7) Competing: some schooling, some recognized and steps toward completing goals ie long format etc.
8) Money I will cover this topic honestly.  How on earth can one even afford to have it all and not be an heir to a millionaire?
9) The "little things". Though each may individually hold a lesser significance. Together make a huge portion of it "all". Ie out door activities (hiking, boating), time with friends, having woods. That might be a strange thing to hold significance but it does for me and I'll go into detail why later. Having truck and trailer.
10) A career that allowed me to the time and enough money to do all the things that I really want to do.
There is a reason why career is last on the list. Again I will get into that later.

Some of these things I have carefully and tediously crafted and created from good Ole' hard work and perseverance.  But honestly some of the things while yes were direct result to a good decision but were ultimately just good fortune and could have easily gone a different way. Dumb luck?

Having this as my view from my couch there was some luck involved. 

If any of this interests you then keep watching for more to come.  I promise to share the good and the bad of all of it.  I assure you it's not all sunshine and roses.  Though getting to the place of having it "all" was the nitty gritty hard part. While I promise to be brutally honest about that journey also be prepared to hear the unabashed happiness of the good.  Because to be perfectly honest having it "all"  is far more enjoyable, satisfying and euphoric than I even imagined it would be.

I need to insert though that having it all does not equal perfection. Did you know you can have everything you could imagine and still go through bouts of depression?  Sad,  bad, unfortunate and plain old shitty things still happen to you.  Life is still unrelentingly unbiased when it comes to things dying, things breaking and all hell breaking loose.  And if it hasn't happened to me yet I've been around the block enough times to know I'm not immune to any of it.


  1. We do all have a different definition of what having it all means to us. Happy that you are in that place in your life :)

  2. Glad you're back and doing so well. :-)

  3. Really looking forward to this series; thank you for sharing! "All" is so relative but contains lots of similarities for women in the horse world.

  4. You've always been one of the most hardworking individuals I know. My hero!

  5. Loving catching up. Lego holy shit I'm in looooooove

  6. I can't wait to read the rest of this series. I have always loved your honesty. It's one of the things that drew me to your blog and kept me here all this time. You bring the real you! I'm so happy you have your all after all of your hard work. You deserve it.


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