Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Feeling like an ass
So my career path has been on hold for months now waiting on the State Medical Board of Ohio to issue me my license to massage. I don't do waiting, well. This means lack of income which means lack of bank to support any competitions to advance ridiculous adult, childlike dreams. I mean today my husband unknowingly and non-purposefully made me feel like a complete ass. I have been writing checks left and right for my silly little obsession lately. There is 150 bales of hay, an early farrier visit because Steady's feet were disintegrating, Rolex purchases, feed, lessons, kids Pony Club camp and let's not even mention that trailer. The amount of money is mind boggling. Since when did mine and my children's hobby become the black hole for my families finances. I have had this thought in the back of my mind lately. And while I was thinking silently how I needed to send in my 2 daughters final camp payment (totally $700) and our show entries of at least $150 if we only each did a CT. My husband tells me of his disappointment that he was out bid on ebay on the golf driver he has been wanting. And that he refuses to pay more than $100. At that moment I felt about an inch tall. I didn't say a word and he had no idea what was on my mind. This man provides us with every single thing we have ever asked for yet he cannot bring himself to buy a new driver for a whopping $300 and opts to search for a good deal on an older used driver. Golf is really the only thing he has any interest in doing as far as a hobby that could cost money goes. Yet he rarely actually does get out on a course and uses 15 year old clubs and a driver he absolutely hates. I have not a whole lot else to say other than I feel like a selfish asshole right now yet I don't know how to change it.