Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Beating a dead horse.

  Not to beat a dead horse but I am one that has the need to get out all my feelings on an issue and then I can move on in a healthy fashion.  Is there something that I am missing here?  Where does this thought process come from that if you are not willing to sacrifice: financial stability, job/career, health, dignity, and possibly your first born child to advance your education in the sport of eventing then you are now: Lazy, ungrateful, envious, unimaginative, bitter, jealous, unable to learn anything at all, disdain toward those who can afford opportunities, venomous, need to grow up, ungrateful for healthy children, complaining, angry, entitled, whiner, afraid to work, expect money to be handed to you.  These are all quotes from 'anonymous' commenter's toward me or those who agreed with me and there are more than that if I wanted to waste my time rereading all the comments on COTH. 

Many points I want to make but the top few are

 1) In my original statement I by no means was saying that I in any way shape or form would or wanted to consider this position.  People seemed to assume that because I made the comment about the position that I wanted it.  That was not the case I was just frustrated that those I know who 'could' take it would be held back because of the insane amount of money you would need to do it.
2) My intention in making the comment was to challenge Boyd in his offer.  I did not hide 'anonymously ' bashing anyone.  I never called names, degraded any ones character and I took responsibility for every word I said.  I did challenge the ethical boundary that I felt was being crossed.  Boyd has every right to do as he pleases.   I mean if I could find a way to get people to pay me to work for me I think I would be tempted to do it.  I am not the law or the rule I just felt it stood to be challenged.  And by having so many people on both sides of the issue I feel it started a very good conversation about it.  Even if people are going about the conversation by calling names and letting their emotion get the best of them, it is still a conversation that I think is worth having.
3) Those that would like to say I do not understand hard work and sacrifice obviously have no idea what they are talking about.  Try, having 3 kids in 3 years having a new born, 1 year old and 3 year old there is not many sacrifices of yourself like that one.  100% worth it but you are constantly giving of yourself for such small babies.  Add onto that gardening, canning, milking a goat, making all your own bread, making cheese, mending fences 7 months pregnant in the middle of January in 2 feet of snow, taking care of all your live stock year round(all stalls, hay loading/unloading etc. done solely by myself) and the cleaning and diapers that go along with all of it.  All so that you can afford to live your dream of having a family, a farm and horses.  I have had nothing handed to me in my life and have had to overcome obstacles that you can't imagine(but I won't go into that sob story) but my life has not been roses and sunshine but I have taken every experience and used all of it to better myself for me and those I love.  I was a working student(though it was never really given a name back then) for 5 years and when I say years I don't mean fluff 3 month winters in South Carolina I am talking since the age of 8 I was working year round in Michigan all weather, exercising multiple horses a day, feeding, turning out, grooming, tack cleaning and all that good stuff.  All for the opportunity to ride/show one of the trainers horses and for 2 lessons a week and shows in the summer months.  The school bus dropped me off at the barn and I would get picked up by my parents in the evening.  I am talking frigged temps that I rode in every day.  Fingers and toes that ached so bad from the cold and in between rides huddling in front of the tiny space heater in the tack room just to get the feeling back before I went back out.  I had an old used saddle I rode in, used my trainers helmets and had hand me down boots and breeches.  I, to this day still ride in two pairs of those hand me down breeches.  I know what it means to work.  I know what it means to sacrifice.  All for the sake of a passion that burns in me like an unquenchable fire.  But I still cannot understand how someone that truly appreciates being at the bottom and working your way up to the top of such a tough sport would not see the value in giving back to the sport by helping someone behind them.  Even if it is a bit of a cost and time from them.  It seems worth it.  And ask that person to make such detrimental sacrifices such as jobs and health by not even being able to afford to feed yourself all the while watching someone ride around on horses worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and a facility that I am sure is a bit more than bare bones.  Especially someone who has so recently had the opportunity to see what it is like to have the 'sport' give back to them.  By all the generosity and outpouring of support in their time of need by hundreds that did not know them but were willing give of themselves for a fellow eventer in need.  As I said he has every right to do as he chooses I personally was just shocked to see them make such and offer and responded out of shock.  It by no means was a personal attack on the Martin's and I by no means have hard feelings toward them I just think their offer warranted a challenge.



  1. The internet is a dark room for the angry...seriously, try not to let it get to you. People are either much worse or much better online when expressing an opinion:) I am on your side of all of this, btw...I have no idea why so many people equate working (key word!) student with slave wage or no wage at all. Pay no mind. I for one think it's a worthy discussion to have. I haven't looked at the COTH discussion in a couple of days but last time I did a lot of people were on your side.

  2. Well I agreed with you on COTH, I post as Jealoushe. I'm pretty sure everyone agrees they just can't let themselves admit anything that may been seen as bad to a BNT.


Steady and I love your feedback, so don't be shy!