Terrible day turned into a terrible week.

In the ER there was alot of waiting, alot of pain and alot of x-rays.  Elisabeth was in terrible pain and could not recieve medication until she was thoroughly examined.  Then they could not get a good x-ray because of where the break in her left arm was.  We knew it was around the elbow.  So they kept coming in and trying.  Everytime they had to move her around to get different angles and everytime she moved she was in intense pain.  The pain that makes grown men scream in agony.  Not to mention an 11 year old little girl.  They decided they needed to keep her overnight for fear of blood clots and swelling.  They found the breaks but still were not pleased with the x-rays.  She broke her left arm in two places in the bone above the elbow and below her shoulder.  They needed to watch it to see if the bone was going to shift.  If it did then she would need surgery to put pins in place.  And she also broke her right wrist.  It was not a complete break which was better but will not have full function of that hand.  My heart broke for the poor thing.   The amount of pain she was in and not to mention she is 11 years old a die hard horse lover, she loves to play piano and takes a dance class every week.  All things that she will not do for quite sometime.  Thankfully all of her injuries were isolated to her arms.  They saw no sign of head injury which is wonderful.

At about 10 pm she finally got settled for the first time all day and she dozed off.  So I thought it was a good time to go home and let her get some rest.  I came out early the next morning.  They did not have a good night nor did she get much rest.  The pain was just too much for her to bear.  Tuesday they had to do more x-rays and later that afternoon they said she could go home.  They basically were wanting to wait and see what happens with the break then come back in one week to see if the bones have stayed in place.  So I helped them get home and get settled in.  The next day I came to sit with her and help in anyway I could.  I helped with chores, milked the goat things like that.  I just wanted to help in any way I could. 

I wanted Thanksgiving to still be a special day and I knew because of the amount of attention her injury required her mom couldn't realistically cook all day.  So I just doubled our Thanksgiving and brought over their meal.  She is slowly but surely getting a little bit better.  She is still on Vicodin 24 hours a day but she is becoming a bit more comfortable.  It is the 2 steps forward one step back kind of progress but it is progress.

The day it happened and the couple days to follow I was so overwhelmed by the situation and I was just completely filled with guilt.  Guilt that I should have been able to prevent it.  I felt so helpless and mad at myself for the whole thing.  I felt completely resposible for her and in turn felt responsible for her injuries.  I was afraid her family would be angry with me.  Thank God her family did not blame me one bit.  And after stepping back and getting a better, less emotinal look at the situation I realize that it was not my fault.  I had such support with friends and my husband and I am so grateful for them and their words.  Otherwise I probably would still be blaming myself.

Why I think King bucked.  First off  I have known King for a couple years and have ridden him a handful of times.  He is a great horse.  He has never done anything like this before.  He is the kind of horse that you could get on every few months and he would be a great ride.  I have trail ridden on him and never had an issue.  Elisabeth has ridden him ALOT.  She has been riding for about 2 years.  There was nothing to indicate that there would have been a problem.  Like I said I could tell the horses started getting anxious and that is why we turned around.  They didn't seem to want to continue ahead and I saw no reason to force the issue.  We were just out to have fun.  My non expert opinion about the situation, like I said I am no expert though I have been around horses my entire life and ridden for 15 years, is that he had one goal in mind, to get her off and go to the barn.  There was no spook involved.  It was a dirty move to get his rider off so he could high tail it out of there.  That is so upsetting and I did not tell the family that story for a few days because I didn't want to compound their pain by getting them angry at their horse.  Once I got a minute to talk to her mother alone when things had settled a bit I explained to her the situation.  Of course it is not an easy thing when you love your animal, he has never done something like this before and then he does something so drastic and awful.  I told her I would get and experts opinion on the matter before she makes any decisions.  It is tough.
 
But that is that.  That is how my good day turned into a terrible week.

On a side note I hope Elisabeth is not afraid to get back up on a horse after all of this and I will do all I can to ensure that she gets past that fear.  She doesn't just love horses, she lives for horses and I think she can get passed this with time.  I am surprised but my daughter did not devolop any fear because of the situation and her and I went for a ride on Saturday.  She just got on one of our mini's bareback and even fell off once but just got right back up.  I am so proud of her for keeping her head even when her mommy kind of lost hers.

I don't know that I can answer the question WHY? do we get back up there.  All I know is that there is a powerful drive that pushes you to.  It feels like it is not even a choice it is just a reflex.  So I quess the answer to Why?  Is because you just have to, it is the right thing to do.  Horses are powerful and unpredictable but they are also kind and loving.  Sometimes we just need to take a step back and remind ourselves that they are potentialy dangerous and a healthy fear is a must.  The reality is we could get hurt at any moment of our lives doing anything.  There are no guarantees.  So unless we plan to live in a bubble we will most likely get hurt along the way but we can't let that stop us from enjoying today.

A terrible terrible day.

There are moments here and there in my life I have asked myself, WHY?  Why do I ride these beasts?  Why do they have such a hold on my heart and life?  Why do I place my life and my childrens lives in the hands/hooves of these powerful, unpredictable animals?  Monday was a day that all of those questions rushed through my brain.

The day:  Monday was a sunny beautiful day for mid to late November.  63 degrees and just a lovely day.  My daughter has been wanted to ride with her friend and I saw this as one of the last great riding days until spring.  So I called her mom and we worked it out so we could go for  ride.  I drove out with our horses to their place.  I took my daughter on her horse and Elisabeh on her horse out for a trail ride.  We all tacked up and headed out.  I asked Elisabeth were she likes to ride since I am not familiar with riding around their place.  She led the way as we went to one of her favorite trails.  When we got to a place where we had to go under and overpass and the horses seemed to be a bit uneasy I made the decision to not continue ahead and do something else that the horses were more comfortable doing.  As we turned around we had to go down a small ditch then back up to the field to head back to the house.  I led the way, Elaina followed me and Elisabeth was behind her.  Elaina and I turned around and were watching Elisabeth make her way through the ditch.  Elisabeths horse is King.  King went down the ditch and on the way back up kind of bolted up the ditch.  Then as soon as he made it to the top he threw his head down and gave a huge buck.  Elisabeth was thrown up and over his head.  He proceeded to trample over top of her then bolted bucking to the barn. 

I jumped from my horse and helped my daughter off of her horse and told her to stay put holding her horse.  I still had Steady in hand and made my way over to Elisabeth.  On my way over I asked if she could get up.  She tried and said "NO, I can't move".  Immediately my heart sank and ran faster to get to her.  It was hard to get close with Steady in hand.  As soon as I made it over to her thank God someone saw us from the road and stopped to help.  The man took Steady so I could tend to Elisabeth.  She was terrified and so was I.  I asked her what hurt and if she could move.  She said her arms hurt and she could not move.  I didn't have my cell phone with me and by then another car had stopped and he was making his way to us.  He had his phone and we made the call to 911.  She had a helmet on but she did have a bloody nose.  I had no idea the extent of her injuries but it was so scary for her and myself.  After a few moments she said she could move her legs and a sigh of relief came over me.  I kept her laying down and asked her to please try not to move.  She wanted her mom but I could not get in touch with her.  It took about 20 minutes for the first emt to get to us.  By then we did get in touch with her mother and she was on her way out.  Once her mom made it and the ambulance got there I decided that I needed to get the horses out of there.  It had been about 30 minutes and my daughter had been holding her horse and the good samaritan holding Steady.  So I as quickly as I could got them loaded and home.

I immediatly made my way to the ER to stay with Elisabeth and her mom.  When I got there I found out that she had broken her left arm and possibly her right wrist.  Otherwise she was going to be fine.

I will conclude the story tomorrow.  It is late.

Put your money where your mouth is.

In some cases litereally.  The goals have been made and put down in writing.  Now how am I going to make those goals happen? 

Lessons:  I would like a lesson with A and L over the next two months.

Riding:  I need to ride at a minimum 3 x's a week.  Preferably 4.  One ride strictly dressage work, one ride dressage and jumping, one ride hacking/trail.  If 4th is fit in then dressage and jumping.  Practice and patience make perfect.

Money: I need to work on finding a position somewhere.  I need to start to bring in money.  If I cannot find a way to pay for my lessons then I cannot take them.  Also there is a fair amount of horse related items that I need and would like to own before next show season.  Those items cannot be purchased without money brought in by me.

So there you have it.  These are the steps I am taking to turn my goals from goals into reality.

The next step

In my last post I said that Steady and I are ready for the next step.  Not that  haven't introduced the next steps but I think it is time to refocus and concentrate on mastery.  Our goals

Canter:  It really is coming along.  Leads are becoming more consistent, and like we started with the trot there are those few wonderful moments that shine through.  I know it is in there and we just need some time to get it to come out.  But when it is good it is real good.  So more canter work.  Which will be sketchy considering the weather for the time of year in my area.  With no indoor it is not safe to do alot of work for alot of the season.  My goal is to fit it in everywhere we can so come spring he has a strong foundation.

Walk:  He has a beautiful walk.  Alot of movement and energy.  I just struggle to figure out how to ask for it when I want it.  medium walk is fine but free walk is hard to find. I  know it is there I just don't know how to get it.  Great thing is we can work on the walk no matter what weather is thrown at us.

Transitions:  Walk to trot is good, Trot to walk is progressing, trot to canter needs work, canter to trot/walk needs work.

Centerline:  We have some work to do on our center line.  Again an easy all weather project.

So my goals for the season have been put in writing.  These are the things I want to make noticable progress on by spring.

Next how do I plan on making these goals happen.

Getting it together.

In June Steady and I took our first lesson with A.  It was a slow start and the idea that I could ever grasp dressage seemed far fetched.  I we had probably close to 8 lessons since then.  One every two weeks for about 4 months.  A would give us something to work on and in our daily ride we would practice and go back to a two weeks later.  Sometimes ready for something new and some times needing help with the last task.  The thing we worked on the most.  I mean hours and hours each week was getting a consistent, collected trot.  She would show me how to ask for it and he would show moments here and there of the dimond in the rough.  But all of our rides consisted of me working and working for those few good moments.  Once I would feel his mouth feel for the bit, his back come up underneath me I would praise and praise him.  I loved the day that A pointed out that "he really listens to you, when you praise him".  Ever since I make sure each ride he knows how great I think he is.

Today I was out for a ride and about 20 minutes into it I realized there is no more working the entire ride for a few good moments.  He has got it together, he knows what I want and he stays collected, on the bit and BALANCED!!!  It is a beautiful feeling.  I amazed at how far he has come in such a short period of time.  I feel we are ready for the next step.

Is it that I love men too much or do I have something against women?

I was out in the pasture today and a thought occurred to me;  I have a thing for guys.  I am not particular about my men either.


                                                              

                                                                 I love short ones.
                                                                    
                                                                         

I love fat ones.

                                                                         I love tall ones.

                                                          I even love extra hairy ones.


Where are all the girls?  Maybe I am making up for the fact that God saw to bless me with all female two legged children.  Really though this was by no means intentional but I do wonder if on some subconcious level this means something.

I can't help it I just love lots of big, little, fat, hairy guys, and if you promise not to tell I will tell you a secrect.  Promise?

I even love the....

                                                                    
                                                                  DIRTY ones!


In this post staring:

 Blaze as the short guy

Moonlight as the fat and dirty guy

Steady as the tall guy

Snappy as the hairy guy

Steady's first event Part 2 cross country

So after much love, praise, kisses, good boys I feed the big guy his breakfast and let him eat.  When I was walking out of the barn I recognized a man walking around.  "Hey that's my Dad!"  My dad came to see me with camera in tow.  This was a big deal to me.  As a kid I showed ALOT and often my parents were working on the weekends.  So I did most shows with the barn crew but no real moral support.  So to have my Daddy there to watch mine and Steady's eventing debut meant so much to me.  I found my phone and called my husband he was holding down the fort and I wanted to check in and tell him how the day was going.  I was excited to hear that he was only 30 minutes away with all the rugrats in tow!  I had some serious moral support and I was so happy. 

Mom/daughter team getting me ready to head into the areana.

I ran to the dressage ring to watch my friend do her dressage test.  She did great!  She was frustrated becuase of  a few mishaps in the pattern but they still did awesome and she ended up getting second place!  Then off to learn my very first cross country course.  With some help from my team I muddled through the course and got a better idea about this whole cross country thing.  Next off to tack up and warm up.

Walking the course with Verna.

Warm up went, well, weird.  He was sooo relaxed and being bendy and sweet but it was time to jump...lol.   So he would trot up to these baby crossrails all tucked  on the bit and pretty for the dressage ring.  So when he got to the jump it was like "oh, we are jumping!?!, oops I never got that memo."  Boiiiinggg.....clearing the the little fence by a good 2 ft.  Jessica was out there helping us and she told me to do a few half halts on the approach to get his head up.  It started working.  My position is just a mess over a jump right now and we tried to sort out a few of those issues but that will take a bit more effort than a 20 minute warm up.  So my goal was to get through the course still on his back and HAVE FUN!

Awfully pretty Steady but this is not dressage.

                                                 Jessica trying to help the helpless.

Um pretty big take off for such a small jump.

Waiting to go in.  See that cute kid hanging on the fence thats one of my babies. and my husband to the right of her.

We walked to the entrance gate and waited our turn.  We were up.  I came in circled for the judge he said "Are you doing cross country?"  I said "I sure am"  He said "go ahead and have a great ride!!"  The first jump was a yellow and orange crossrail.  My mind was trying to keep track of where my position needed to be.  "don't climb his neck, push my tail bone back, relax my hand...oh wait he is not juuuumping"  Oops, not what he was supposed to do.  We circled and headed back at it.  I put on the leg and he went right over.  Next another X then out to cross country.  #3 was up the bank.  we didn't have to jum the bank just go up and over it.  It was gravel and the color change sometimes throws horses off.  No problem for Mr. Steady.  A little pheasant coop then to the lincoln log.  Funny think about the log was it is placed right next to a cattle field.  The one time we got to school this course there were baby cows out there watching the us and he put on the brakes and had to check those horse eating calves out.  When we walked the course the baby cows were no where to be seen and I was so very grateful.  The jump is set at the top of a hill and on the way up the hil, holy cow, litterally.  Baby cows are there.  Steady quickly took notice BUT he just gave them a quick look and stayed right on path.  Yay!  After the lincoln log was down hill and I think he got a bit excited and I had to bridge to get him to come back down.  (Interjection: I got a little glimpse of how much he is gonna love galloping a big boy course.)  He was not out of control just excited and I really just wanted to take everything slow and relaxed for our first time around.  A low log, to a small stone wall then into ring for the final two jumps.  All of the jumps were under 18" and easy for my big guy but our goal for the last show of the season is to build his and my confidence and have FUN!  And that was did.  I was high as a kite after that.  Not much in life can compare to the feeling of coming back from a cross country course.  Cloud nine was not high enough to describe what I was feeling.  I was beyond proud of Steady.

Second attempt at the first jump.  I take complete blame for falling asleep at the wheel.

On the way to the killer baby cows.

On the way back Jessica said "you have a novice horse easy".  That has stuck with me.  Honestly I hadn't even thought about where we are going to progress to I have been completely focused on just making progress.  When she said novice instantly I thought have you seen those jumps?  Well of course she has she gone beyond Novice.  So I guess maybe we will make it there someday but today I am going to focus on getting a halfway decent balanced canter and even that seems a ways off...lol.

So one refusal 5 pt +34 for a total score of 39!!!  I am as happy as I can be and I saw the greatness that is in my horse that day and how show life is just second nature to him.  I guess all those years at the track really prepared to to feel at home in the show life. 

There, you see that grin?  If you stick around you better get used that grin because I can't get that off my face on the back of that horse.